Thursday, June 09, 2005

Rendezvous with 'Myself'

6:30am malad (W) mumbai,

Inside one dark corner room of a big well lit building which happens to be one of the most profit earning BPO's , u'll find a 23 year old s/w engg , sitting in front a monitor , staring at it as if he's sitting there to find the mystery of the 'Holy Grail'.

If you'r not a connoisseur in reading human mind, then from his looks you may not make out that he's 23, partly balding, formally dressed, pant worn above the navel, sporting two company tags like some Kenyan athlete at Olympics who's just won two medals. Now the Kenyan athlete might be rejoicing his victory (apparent from his unique smile) , but our man has this Hercules(or atlas maybe) look on his face who's carrying the earth on his shoulders for zillion years.

Ask him what's he doing. Comes an abrupt answer "firefighting or patching up on a badly written s/w application", accompanied by this look saying “Not my fault!!!". Now after this you won't dare asking him some thing similar.

Ok so "Un happy" you might think . "Happens" or may be lack of interest at work. May be “Girl problem" or "excessive dependency on chemical substances".
Try asking the above. No abrupt answers this time. "silence" and a look which says " man , are u the god's chosen messenger to help me".
Work yes. It "sucks". but thats normal " if u can't play , get off the field, and farm" . That shouldn't be all.
Chemical substance. No Pal !!!! . Our man got no money for that.
"Girl Problem" yes . Specially when you have alienated yourself from all the female life forms for a long time, or its the other way round. Yeah we'll go for the second option.

Ok now that makes you feel " mann!!!i wish i was God , to help this poor guy"

Thursday, June 02, 2005

My experiments with Craziness

Wondering wass up with makin blogg.I don’t know!!! It must be the blue blue sky or something. End less; limit less sky with no boundaries. Or the just plain boredom, which inspired me of doing some thing like this.

Things have changed a lot, i'm sure thats normal in anybodies life. Things are meant to be changed. But somehow you fall behind adapting to these changes.

These days I feel like a middle aged guy all the time with no ambitions, no aspirations, certainly a change in the way i think. Stuck in the world of reality, facing the hard truth that I’m nothing but just another guy with no happiness. I guess that’s what u call a Quarter life crisis .Believe me I’m too young to talk like this but that’s what it is. I never thought things will be so meaningless, I never grew up to become this way. Anyways materially I’m doing well , as someone will put it euphemistically that I’m ‘settled’ . Sure I’m!!! But am I happy? May be, who cares, I’m not satisfied.
How can u neglect the huge void that’s living inside? Living in this pretentious world all u got to do is act according to the surrounding. You do that all the time, until one day when u realize that you were never yourself.I never wanted this predictable life , I wanted excitement , adventure , thrill . Yes I thrive for all that. I wanna be a “ROCK STAR” who lives for the moment.Away from the predicable living, i want to do things that are not expected. Away from the idiosyncrasies, and pretentiousness, living it in own ways.

In GOO GOO dolls words……..
“And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am”
I hope u guys got the message. Do let me know if any of you guys feel the same way, or am I the only one who’s gone crazy.