BELAY'S World

Thursday, June 02, 2005

My experiments with Craziness

Wondering wass up with makin blogg.I don’t know!!! It must be the blue blue sky or something. End less; limit less sky with no boundaries. Or the just plain boredom, which inspired me of doing some thing like this.

Things have changed a lot, i'm sure thats normal in anybodies life. Things are meant to be changed. But somehow you fall behind adapting to these changes.

These days I feel like a middle aged guy all the time with no ambitions, no aspirations, certainly a change in the way i think. Stuck in the world of reality, facing the hard truth that I’m nothing but just another guy with no happiness. I guess that’s what u call a Quarter life crisis .Believe me I’m too young to talk like this but that’s what it is. I never thought things will be so meaningless, I never grew up to become this way. Anyways materially I’m doing well , as someone will put it euphemistically that I’m ‘settled’ . Sure I’m!!! But am I happy? May be, who cares, I’m not satisfied.
How can u neglect the huge void that’s living inside? Living in this pretentious world all u got to do is act according to the surrounding. You do that all the time, until one day when u realize that you were never yourself.I never wanted this predictable life , I wanted excitement , adventure , thrill . Yes I thrive for all that. I wanna be a “ROCK STAR” who lives for the moment.Away from the predicable living, i want to do things that are not expected. Away from the idiosyncrasies, and pretentiousness, living it in own ways.

In GOO GOO dolls words……..
“And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am”
I hope u guys got the message. Do let me know if any of you guys feel the same way, or am I the only one who’s gone crazy.

1 Comments:

  • At 12:14 AM, Anonymous sgurung said…

    Dude,
    Is it ok to be "unhappily settled" ? Or are u looking to be "happily unsettled" ? Are we being true to ourself in being (or rather trying to be) someone we are not.
    Well dude, keep looking for answers and enlighten me too when u have them. I came across something in the internet that makes a lot of sense: "The biggest fear we have is that somewhere, we are failing or are going to fail. You can almost say that our personalities are in a large part a way of compensating for fear. We want to show to the world what would be acceptable and loveable. In doing so, we in some way disconnect from the aliveness and authenticity of who we are."

     

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